One of the scariest parts in ALL OF THIS has been not knowing where my money is going to be coming from. Aside from a five month stint in 2016 when I took a mental health break from full time work, I’ve been a salaried, 401k contributing working woman since I graduated college in 2013.

This leap - and it is a giant leap - into self-employment pushed me to the edge of my comfort zone and then right over the cliff of safety and security, which brought me face to face with my internalized scarcity mindset that has driven so much of my life.

‘What is a ‘scarcity mindset’?’ you may ask.

Well, it essentially is the voice in your head that says: there isn’t enough space for you, there isn’t enough money for you. Stay small. Play small. Don’t want for too much because you’ll just be disappointed when it doesn’t come your way. There is money and abundance out there but it’s for other people, not you.

OOF.

Can you imagine saying those things to a friend? NO! So why do we often say them to ourselves?

Because we’ve been taught and conditioned to think this way. Decades of the world bombarding us with these types of messages ingrained them into our brain and all of a sudden it’s just what we believe, and we forget to even question it.

Until…we are forced to question it, because we finally realize the old way of doing things isn’t working for us anymore, and we need a new way.

This new way for me is scary as hell. I’ve shed a lot of tears over this decision, mostly based in fear like, “Can I do this?” and “Will I be able to pay for my life?”

At first, I thought transitioning from ‘scarcity’ to ‘abundance’ mindset was just about money - ya know that green stuff that we all love that seemingly makes the world go round?

But man, abundance is SO MUCH MORE than that.

Abundance is believing that ALL the good things we desire and deserve (yes, we deserve it!) are already in existence and trying to make their way to us. Whether it’s money, compassion, romance, security, love, friendship…the list goes on. It’s believing we are capable of receiving all these amazing things, if only we open ourselves up to receive it.

I can confidently say that once I started to change my mindset in this way through meditation, visualization and changing my language (“I can’t afford xxx” to “I choose to not pay for xxx right now”), I have seen the universe show up in BIG ways to affirm my new way of thinking.

I AM ABUNDANT.

And then, the funniest thing happened…I panicked with all this goodness coming my way. I was saying things like, “This is too much. This is bad timing. I’m overwhelmed!” I physically and mentally was overloaded with goodness.

And my default way of reacting was to say, “It’s crazy right now. I’m so overwhelmed.”

OOF. Again.

I had worked so hard to open myself up to abundance and then the universe said, “Great - she’s ready! Here you go!” and I immediately tried to close myself off from it!

I was driving home from yoga the other night, laughing to myself, imagining God/the Universe in their pink and lavender cloud-based office saying, “What the heck? This girl is cray - we’re finally giving her all she’s been asking for and now she DOESN’T WANT IT?” (I’ve worked with difficult clients before so I can empathize with how that feels.)

So, instead of falling into the habit of being overwhelmed (because, yes - it’s one of my worst habits), instead I am opening my capacity to receive all this goodness.

I am opening my capacity to receive.

My incredible, wonderful, sent from God via Google search business coach offered me that mantra the other day when I was lamenting my ‘overwhelm’ to her. Wow. I was taken aback with this counteraction to my default way of thinking.

I’ve been playing small for so long. Keeping myself small to fit in the boxes, spaces, jobs, cities, etc. that others have prescribed me. But now, I am EXPANDING and GROWING to welcome in all that this glorious life has to offer.

I am no longer going to be constricted by overwhelm. I am opening my capacity to receive.

THANK YOU.